How blind is love?
The new season of Love is Blind UK just dropped and we have thoughts. Many of them.
If you’ve never heard of it: it’s a social experiment turned dating show on Netflix. Singles date in “pods,” speaking through a wall without ever seeing each other. After a few days, someone proposes (yes, like marriage), and then, finally, they meet face to face. It’s weird, dramatic, addictive. But what it reveals about dating today? That hits harder.
“I want to find the person I cannot live without”
While there are many essays you could write about this show, we want to talk about one thing that struck us the most. A lot of the contestants mention how tired they are of swiping. How much they hate the apps. (Like most of us do these days.)
And then, they describe what they’re looking for:
The one.
Their soulmate.
The person they cannot live without.
And while it’s valid to want a deep connection, something that lasts, it’s also a dangerous mindset. Because that’s exactly how they behave.
And I will try to fix you
What many of these contestants (and many singles in the “real world”) have in common is this: They’re not just looking for a partner.
They’re looking for someone to fix them.
To complete them.
To finally find the one — and become whole.
That song is stuck on repeat. And while it’s a romantic thought most of us have had at some point, yes, even Coldplay, it’s not how life works. Connection and love don’t depend on one person. Or, they do.
But that person is… you.
Stuck on repeat
A smart friend once said: Life will keep giving you the same challenge until you finally learn from it. That hit a nerve. And when it comes to love and relationships, it couldn’t be more true. We repeat the same patterns over and over again, like Sisyphus pushing that damn rock, until we finally break the cycle.
Then comes the hard part: Values. Attachment styles. Love languages. Lifestyle. When you finally understand what really matches your needs, you’ll start making better decisions. And you’ll see clearly why you kept choosing the wrong person.
Maslow’s Millennials
Here’s the thing: this kind of clarity takes time. We’re part of a generation that’s currently deep in the process of discovery, reflection, and growth. Millennials in their thirties and early forties are questioning everything, their choices, their values, their habits.
They used to call it a midlife crisis. We’d call it a re-orientation.
And yes, it’s a privilege to even be here, near the top of Maslow’s pyramid. Survival secured, now we’re looking for purpose. This is usually when your perspective shifts.
When you start reflecting on past relationships. Why they ended. What your role was. For many, therapy is where it begins. For others, it’s spirituality, books, or long conversations with wiser friends.
You don’t know what you don’t know
Here’s the tricky part: your unconscious mind is always in the driver’s seat, even when you think you’re in control.
The only way out? Become a paleontologist.
Grab that metaphorical fossil brush, a shovel and start digging. Through five layers of soil, three failed relationships, and thirty Tinder dates. Then, you’ll start to know what you didn’t know. It will rewire your brain. And one day, you’ll get it. Still, if you don’t put in the work? You’ll repeat the same patterns. Again. And again. And again.
Back to the pods
So, how blind is love really?
You can run a hundred social experiments, pods, walls, marriages in a week, but if you’re not self-aware, nothing will change. If you’re searching for a saviour, your happy ending in another person… You’ll end up disappointed.
Time and time again on the show, contestants struggle to choose between the one who’s been secure, open and clear from the start or the mysterious one who keeps them guessing and is playing it cool. The safe one gives them anxiety. The challenge feels like home.
We already know how that ends.
